Oh No You Don’t! Cake


Have you ever noticed that when a child is about to do something naughty, an adult often exclaims, “Oh no you don’t!”?  I caught myself yelling this phrase when James jumped on the counter as I was baking a birthday cake.  My sweatshirt sleeves were rolled up, my fingers were coated in flour, and I was holding a wooden spoon and glass bowl dripping with batter.  I was also exhausted from torts class and a batch of muffins that stuck to the muffin tin.  In spite of my wild gesticulations and most serious voice, James gave me a look that said, “Oh, yes. We do.”  My parenting skills had just been trumped—by a cat.  In the moment, it occurred to me that the phrase, “Oh no you don’t” doesn’t have any meaning on its own.  It’s grammatically deficient, and it’s insipid.  It’s so insipid that if I could come up with a catchy-enough tune and Katy Perry agreed to sing it, there would be teens across the U.S. belting it out in their V-Bugs.  As I whipped up the cake frosting, I imagined some clever predicates that could be inserted between “don’t” and the exclamation mark.  Feel free to post your favorite (complete) “Oh no you don’t…” phrase in the comments.  It’s good food for thought, no?  Most importantly, happy birthday, Anna.  I hope this year is every bit as sweet as frosting.

–Little Ms. Muffin

Orange-Coconut Layer Cake

¾ cup softened butter
¾ tsp salt
grated zest of one orange
juice of one orange
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 ½ cups sugar
3 eggs
3 cups flour
3 tsp baking powder

1/2 cup shaved coconut

1)  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and grease and flour two 9-inch round cake pans

2)  In large bowl, combine the butter, salt, and the orange rind.  Add the sugar and cream the mixture.

3)  Add the eggs, one at a time and beat well after each addition.

4)  In another large bowl, whisk together the cake flour and baking powder.

5)  Combine the juice of one orange and the lemon juice in a measuring cup.  Add enough water to make a cup.

6)  Alternate adding the flour mixture and the juice to the creamed sugar mixture.  Repeat this step three times.  Mix until the batter is smooth.  Pour the batter into the cake pans.

7)  Bake for 25 minutes, or when a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

8)  When the cake has cooled, frost with icing, sprinkle with coconut, layer, and repeat.

Golden Orange Frosting

4 cups confectioner’s sugar, separated
6 tbsp butter
4 tbsp fresh squeezed orange
2 tsp fresh lemon juice
¼ tsp salt
2 tsp grated rind of an orange
1 tbsp flour

1)  Heat the butter on low heat, add the orange rind, and 1 cup of the confectioner’s sugar, a little at a time.  Stir continuously.

2)  Remove the mixture from the heat and allow to cool to room temperature; beat in the flour.

3)  In a bowl, add the remaining three cups of confectioner’s sugar, alternating with the juice from the orange and lemon to the previous mixture.

4)  Beat the frosting until it is light and creamy.  Add some water to loosen if the frosting is too thick.  Refrigerate the frosting until it’s ready to be spread on the cake.

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One Response to “Oh No You Don’t! Cake”

  1. Mommy Says:

    “Oh no you don’t drink two glasses of wine on an empty stomach!” :-)

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